Parenthood In The Digital Age Pillows

Stroller Cellphone

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

'He has your nose and my ears.'

What did I tell you about covering your bottom when you sneeze?

Low-Energy Drinks

"Trust me, you're not ready!"

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

"Maybe we should have just had a baby..."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"It's a boy, but that's a common one so don't get too excited."

'We found you in a cabbage!'

Baby Screen Time

Growth Charts

'Shhh... It's babies app time.'

'This is a fine time to leave! What if the doctor delivers the baby while you're out!'

"We have the exact same taste."

"I made the mistake of telling him that the world is his canvas."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

"I noticed that since I've been working at home you've been paying me hazard pay. How did you know?"

'There's a planet in my book with two moons! Imagine how much howling we could do there!'

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

A postwoman delivers mail together with her baby who is riding in the letter carrier.

Young Gums

"He won't eat anything but corn."

"Skip the funny voices tonight—O.K., Dad?"

"Back when we got him, Rufus was a child substitute. Now he's just a dog."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

"I've asked you not to overrule me in front of the children."