Digital Parenting Pioneers Pillows

'Oh, look! Baby's first text!'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"How is it gendered?"

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'The stuka brought you.'

"Damn it, are we flying a spoonful of peas again?"

"I wouldn’t say they’re user-friendly."

"We sing her to sleep with songs about recycling."

The modern generation!

"Dad's at that awkward age when he knows just enough about computers to really screw 'em up!"

Why all mothers deserve a special day.

'You can go home today, but we'd like to run a few more tests on your husband.'

Baby cries into a cellphone.

To prevent Christmas git opening from being over in a flash, the Wagner kids were required to use only their feet.

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

The conversion.

'Baby's got his first blue tooth!'

"There's no umbilical cord. But don't worry... it just means your baby is connected to you via wifi."

"Hey honey, I found this great article about protecting kids from social media on Facebook!"

"Does it come with instructions?"

"We named him XB32116 so we never forget the Wi-Fi password."

"The kids? They're great! Karen got retweeted by a famous YouTuber and Timmy just hit 16K Insta followers. They start influencing so quickly, don't they?"

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

"At which trimester will I be able to communicate with my baby via text?"

'That way, we don't have to provide a technical support department.'

"I couldn't find the off switch."

Heimlich's Mother's Maneuvers