Parenthood Hilarity Gifts

Chicken With Stroller

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

'Hold on a minute with that stuff! That 'infestation' just happens to be your kids on a Saturday morning!'

'I hear you can tell how big they will get by the size of their feet.'

This is our 36th nap today - I can't read you a bedtime story EVERY time.

'She said her first words today.'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

'...And there's the hands - it looks like - well, it looks like he's texting.'

They Removed my Brain.

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

Let the #&(%?;! pigeon drive the bus

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

'Oh look Julia, he's just text me his first word.'

Dad Dancing.

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'I dressed myself.'

"Sure, Mom's eager to get us back to school, but she could have stopped the car!"

'What? Didn't your parents ever tell you who delivers babies???'

12 step program

"Show Daddy what you learnt at Kung fu"

'You can't tell me what to do! You're not my 'ruler'! Heck, you're not even my real dad!'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

"Three junior meals and a vasectomy, please."

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

National Mom Monument.

"I help as much as I can with the baby: I'm always the first to smell when the baby needs changing..."

"Dad, I'm water hungry."

Hairy father with a bald baby.

'It's so I don't lose the kids in the long grass...'

Pram for Baby Giraffe.