Parenthood Funny Moments Gifts

"Show Daddy what you learnt at Kung fu"

"I said, was... it... a... difficult... birth?"

"You got the dolls yesterday? My mom says I took nine months!"

"Two boys from legal to see you."

Chicken With Stroller

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'She said her first words today.'

'...you'd better get yourself a good lawyer!'

'Are you sure you didn't swallow your cell phone? I keep getting a dial tone.'

"For the love of God Billy, you've got to stop putting things up your nose!"

"Fasten your seat belt."

I know you do your mating dance just to embarrass the kids.

'There's been no stopping him since he said his first word this morning!'

Maternity ward (door sign.. push push).

'The baby cut a tooth today.'

"It's a special place where they check the eyes in the back of their heads."

Dad Dancing.

12 step program

'Let's hit the road, son! We are Baby Bjorn to be wild!'

'I already have four girls. I picked out the names for this one. If I give birth to a girl...Jennifer. If it's a boy...hooray!'

"From now on, just pillage."

"Look. He's just created his first text output object."

Some blind dates work out just fine.

"I dunno. It just doesn't "feel" like a diaper."

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

'Look at big woosy Sid, pushing his pram with two hands!'

Pram for Baby Giraffe.

'Look, Daddy! - Fluffy begat!'

Where Box Turtles Come From

"My dad and I are trading important life skills. He's teaching me how to change the oil in the car."

Thanks to Floss-A-Cuffs, parents can be certain that their kids will maintain proper oral hygiene.

"Here's 15 cents. I assume you'll go into debt one day putting me through college, so this will take some of the guilt off my conscience."

"Listen, kid...I'm doing you a favor... Don't call here again for at least another 10 years."

"Sorry I'm late, dad! Which number?"

'I'm afraid your work insurance won't apply, Mrs. Ferguson -- you didn't have the baby during office hours.'