Parental Humor Specialists Pillows

'There can be such a thing as too much parental involvement.'

Madonna of the Pukes.

You can't just switch them. If your wife asked you to change the baby, she probably meant the diaper.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

Giving birth with your husband present may be more painful.

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Good news. It's a small pig."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

Trick or Tweet

:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

'Budget cuts have forced us to drop our day-care program. I've contacted your mother to come and pick you up.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.