Parental Guru Gifts

'My drug problem is a little different. I'm being drug to P.T.A meetings, drug to little league practice, drug to dance rehersal, drug to...'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

'What's play?'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Playing Mozart to the baby.

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

Early childhood development

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

"Be afraid to try new things!"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

A Boy and His Mother

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

Gangs of New York

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Go ask your search engine."

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

'My mom says we're expecting a house guest for 18 years.'

Jesus as a child - 'Just look at my clean floor! What have I told you about walking on puddles?'

Have you drugged your child today?

'I know they look geeky - but I believe lat good parenting should always come before style.'

"He's so well behaved I'm really worried, doctor."