Family Guru Gifts

'It's making me happy.'

"Mom, please take her and teach her morals, manners, and chores."

'My composition is 'parental discipline and what we can do about it'.'

"Frankly, McCurdy, it is very discouraging to hear that Mrs. McCurdy has had another baby."

"I need to talk to you about your parenting style."

'There's not enough insurance in the world.'

"Baldo, this report card...it makes me sad. I've tried showing you kids that an education is muy importante for your future. Please mi'jo...show me you take this seriously."

"My dad says we eat honey 'cause it has lots of vitamin Bee."

Self help acupuncture

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

You only have time for one: Choose your fighter - Exercise, Wash Your Hair, Eat, Breathe

'What's play?'

'Eat less. Drink less. Be merry more.'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"Here...let me call an expert...someone who knows about these things."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

"It appears that you'll definitely outlive your usefulness."

National Academy of Sport

Keep Fit.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

'When I turned 18 something started happening to me every month. I started receiving a credit card bill.'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

Tired executive going into gym coming out gleaming

Playing Mozart to the baby.

'I gotta lose some weight.'