Family Gurus Gifts

'Mind how you cross the ocean.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

'What's play?'

"Is there a vegan option?"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Winning isn't everything, Josh. Not being the reason your team loses is everything."

"Young man, go to your room and stay there until your cerebral cortex matures."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"I never subscribed to Hobbes' state of nature theory until the night we left the kids without a sitter."

'They took my Science Fair Award away. They said I ate too much fish, which is brainfood. So, it was like I was on mental steroids.'

Playing Mozart to the baby.

'You the one who called Amnesty International?'

Six-tier Communal Cradle.

"Migration? I love chasing the endless summer, but travelling such distances with kids is exhausting..."

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

"You're developing a nice, rich compost down here."

The AdRams Family no.13 - Exams

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Adorable. Is yours a rescue too?"

Parent Involvement Tip #1

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

'Yes, technology has come a long way, but the baby won't have a touch screen.'

A Boy and His Mother

Gangs of New York

"No. I've never had any problems with my kids not paying attention to me."

"Do you ever get the feeling that maybe the baby is listening to us?"

'Because we're still part of society - that's why we have to go organic.'

Baby At The Entrance Of The Maze Of Life

"According to this, everything we've done up to now is right."

"Go ask your search engine."

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

"Gracie, we're rich because we love one another...we have a safe home and we don't go to bed hungry at night."

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

'He has a learning disability all right - television!'

Have you drugged your child today?