Parental Guidance Humor Gifts

"Where am I going to college? I thought this was college."

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

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:Come on sweetie, you know the rule: You need to finish your chocolate cake before you can have your carrots...'

"Use your inside scream."

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

A man and his baby are wearing bibs with images of what they are eating.

Mother and Baby Hippopotamus.

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

"She's a natural!"

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

Impractical Guide to Having Babies: This is solids?

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

"That's it young man. . . go to your room!"

'Oh Darling look. He's got your colour boogies!'

"It makes sense when you see the second painting with the lego."

"It's from the children. They'd like us to let them in."

Billy strip: help with homework.

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

'Oh wonderful! All day I've been waiting for that burp!'

'Do you know what's worse than being a mummy? Being a mummy with a prostate!'

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

'Mom, I need a push.'

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

"If you get to be a stay-at-home dad, why can't I be a stay-at-home daughter?"

"I love to hear the pitter-patter-patter...patter of his tiny feet."

'Don't clean me up too good... no one will recognize me.'

Aliens from the planet of the yellow snow. 'Don't eat the white snow.'

Playing in the park....child on a leash.

Moma

'You've kept your shoes and socks on. I washed my feet yesterday.'

'My daddy thinks you're really funny. He's always telling mommy about the clown he works for!'

"Bottled or breast?"