Parental Anxieties Explorer Pillows

"Well, I'm thinking about boarding school. Though I'm not sure they accept adults."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

'News headline: Britain unsafe to bring up young children.'

"I told you not to touch it. I should've used your language and told you not to click on it."

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

"It's not often you see a sign that is both instructional and inspirational."

'Are you sure the children get plenty of exercise'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"The economy doesn’t make me half as nervous as my kids do."

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

'Run around with sharp objects and you'll poke an eye out!'

Boy has swallowed marbles thinking they are sweets

'Well, Mr. 'Let's get him a fish they're no trouble at all,' you're on.'

'Did the nasty man hurt you?'

"It's the whole kindergarten thing, Mom. I'm alone in there, swimming with the sharks."

'It's sad to think of raising him in a world with looming tort reform.'

"You see it as half full, I see his diaper as half empty."

"And this will protect him from distemper."

"How soon can I start her on fad diets?"

A pet cage wrapped in chains make the other customers in the waiting room nervous,

'I wish you wouldn't carry knives in your trousers - they make such holes in your pockets!'

"Okay! I'm letting go! Just stay straight! Do not get hurt! Your mother will never forgive me!!"

"Your wife wants a report on your condition."

"Little Jimmy's at the difficult age where he's grown up."

Parent-Teacher Conferences: 'The bad news is your son failed every test I gave this term. The good news is that we know he's not abusing any mind-expanding drugs.'

'Make sure you stay in the shallow end.'

"Mom, is this lunch supplying me with the recommended daily allowance of microplastics?"

Uncertain Future

'What else would you expect from one of the ten best dressed women of the year?'

Father afraid of daughters VAT inspector boyfriend

I have two teenagers that text!

The Anxious School Drop Off

"We hate being stuck indoors because of seasonal allergies, so it's a relief when we can blame it on a dangerous fugitive."

'I'm worried he might be dyslexic!'

"I just hope that's not our babysitter..."