Parent Of Grown Children Pillows

'When the new employment laws come in parenting is going to be a whole lot easier...'

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of CSI: Miami to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45 p.m.? The Youtube Generation grows up fast.

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

"I'm OK. But I think the dog wants to go out."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"When we grow up we can eat snacks BEFORE dinner and call them hors d'oeuvres!"

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Lemonade 5c Sugar Free: 'It sure is!'

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

Early Night Club

"I'm going to need a pediatrician, two vets and an ornithologist."

Tired mom: I thought labour ended when leaving the hospital.

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

"Dear, your father and I were thinking that maybe it's time you got a place of your own."

"I put my pants on the same as every other middle-aged person—in constant fear that the button will pop off under pressure."

Childhood's End

Praise works best when it comes straight after the positive behaviour.

"He's moving out when he's saved up enough for a deposit on a flat."

"I'm sorry your son Billy ran away, but there's not much we can do being that he's thirty-four."

"Two years at home Son, and all you've earned is points on my credit card."

'I told him that you said people should share things with the less fortunate!'

"Your mother says to quit bringing laundry over. She's dead."

"Here's a little song I wrote at my parents home while they screamed at me to move out and get a real job or at least go back for a year of community college."

MEN, WOMEN, 'What are KIDS supposed to do?'

"The bully at school keeps calling me a snowflake."

Jimmy suffered from a severe fear of flying.

"This covfefe sandwich you brought over sure is tasty."

"We turned your old room into an Amazon Fulfillment Center."

'I won't meet your demands for an allowance increase, so maybe you should become a free agent.'

"No kidding? And it took me 20 minutes to climb up here!"

"Goodbye Sweetheart. No matter where you go in this life, or what you do, always remember that you signed an N.D.A. with us."

Bad news - The children would like the inflatable moat blown up