Parent Of A Student Pillows

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'It wasn't my fault. They asked me about things that happened before I was born.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

"Third grade is supposed to be temporary, son. Remember that."

Likes: $2.

'I really wanted to only take accounting courses, but my parents made me take this cartooning class so I would have something to fall back on.'

"What can I say? Second grade just hasn't lived up to the hype."

'Your thesis on 'how to keep warm in winter'? Interesting.'

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

'Here's another email from a parent, written in lower case with no punctuation and seventeen spelling errors, demanding we do a better job of teaching social skills.'

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'He's really putting that media studies degree to good use.'

"Higher learning gets higher each year."

The surrendered mom

"The bully at school keeps calling me a snowflake."

Mom and child visit principal who has a sign on the door - Nap Time.

'I need a helping hand.'

'The dog kinda ate my homework. He deleted it off my hard drive.'

Why should we keep going to school?

'After the revolution' (small people get small schoolbags).

"My fellow graduates, today we leave behind the trappings of youth, step boldly onto the road of life, and move back in with our parents."

Parents of student:'Shh George is revising!'

'There goes my part as a wise man in the Christmas pageant.'

'Are you going to be long in there? ...And have you seen my electric guitar?'

'He's doing so much better, lugging that backpack to school, since we started him on steroids.'

"I got 75 percent right on my math test!"

"Yeah, I now how it is. . . I'm sending a boy through college too!"

'Right that covers nutritional theory in the socio-economic context of class structure in a eurocentric and essentially homophobic culture, now if one of you could take a tit out we'll do a practical.'

'Don't patronize me. We both know I could do better. Why do you always have to be so hypocritical?'

My mother signed my progress report, but the signature got smudged by her tears.