Parent Coaches Pillows

'Wow! Feel that kick! I'm buying him a football for his first birthday!'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

The best PE teacher in the World.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

The Other Cooperstown

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Still having problems finding a baby sitter?'

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

Parenting Business Deals

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

"Tell the truth, Ezra. Does it look like he's being a more effective parent than me?"

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."

"Leapfrog is the latest craze among the kids, but experts say it contribute to declining birthrates. Find out why � after the break!"

Nanny with children on leash