Parental Coach Pillows

"Your dad sure worries a lot."

"Now, remember, act cute."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'I don't want him experiencing anything until I've totally checked it out.'

"Look Mommy, hat!"

"That's not how I sat on you."

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

A kangeroo and it's baby read books about understanding each other.

The best PE teacher in the World.

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

We're looking for someone who knows how to adapt, not adopt.

"I won it for being the most noncompetitive in preschool."

'I'm not spoiled - I always smell like this.'

My 5-year-old nephew cut his hair! His mom was so upset until she thought: 'Wait a minute! I just saved 12 bucks!'

"What do you mean it's not 'Thong Thursday?'"

'Do you have any books on controlling little monsters?'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Your parents are way too overprotective.'

'Never underestimate the value of pipe-dreams, my son.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

"Be afraid to try new things!"

Parenting Business Deals

"I told my mom either the sitter goes, or I go!"

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

Mother pushes twins on a double-decker swing.

'The best way to teach my son is by example, you know: Monkey see, monkey do...'

The First Day Back

"All this time I've been trying to get her to walk, and all it took was a phone."