Parent-child Dynamics Fan Gifts

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"Your father's here. Better stop sucking your thumb."

'How many times do I have to tell you? Go and wash your trunk before dinner!'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

"We're ecstatic about our new au pair."

"I thought it would be nice if we had a forum where we could get together and have screaming tantrums."

"Look at their faces! What did they expect? They never visited her! Of course the will says her money goes to the cat shelter. . ."

'What did I learn in school today? You'd better sit down.'

A child as a pet substitute.

'You must be Jimmy's father . . .'

"Nothing else in my room can spin on the floor like a bottle."

'Shortly you will be running for your life. I wouldn't order dessert.'

'We're playing I'm a mummy with lots of different daddies!'

"Could you please downgrade this to a C? High expectations bring out the worst in my parents."

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

'So, you're an organ-grinder's monkey? A professional beggar? Is that how you intend to support my daughter?'

"We need to have a serious talk."

'You are right, honey, it's raining too much. It's not the best day to visit my mom.'

'My parents didn't want me getting left behind in the system.'

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

'Yoy know perfectly well WHICH corner, Jamie!'

Bears: 'Mummy, mummy can I sleep over at Jessica's this winter.'

'I'm leaving my wife because of another woman. Her mother.'

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"...and then while I was at soccer practice they moved house."

"Think about it: Toby's the only ram here, so we have to be half brothers!"

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

'It's good, Timmy, but it's not refrigerator good.'

"Dad, here's that update on my childhood you requested."

'Mom, would you have married Dad if you had seen him in high definition first?'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

"Daddy can't help you, son. Daddy's a product of the 'me' generation."

'We're identical twins, but I'm luckier than he is!'

'Must you find fault every time she brings a boyfriend home?'