Parent-child Dynamics Enthusiast Gifts

'Dad, when do I stop being a wholly owned susidiary of you and Mom?'

Mothers day

"I told mom I won't answer her calls in case a scammer got her number."

"Frankly, now that he's an obnoxious teenager, I find it more and more difficult to muster the urge to protect him..."

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'Hi, I'm Bob and I'll be your waiter ... and this is my wife, Susan, and her two children from a former marriage, Jimmy and Cindy.'

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

"Mum, Dad, I think I might be bipedal."

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk - it's hard to believe we're related.'

"Some day you'll look back at this and remember me as the person who taught you to fear water."

'It's funny really - when your father's home he hardly ever says a word!'

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

'I see from your C. V. that you're my son...'

'I'm very confused. I never had a father. I was raised by two mummies.'

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

"Do let me know if I'm getting in the way, won't you?"

"I'm afraid these grades aren't giving me a very satisfying vicarious life."

"We're looking forward to this little bundle of joy bringing out the worst in each of us."

"Mom, are you going to properly vet the baby before you bring her home from the hospital?"

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

'Who says women don't like chase scenes?'

Black and white penguins with gray and black and white child.

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

"It's easy to understand the theory of evolution when you have a brother!"

"It's another e-mail from your folks. You know, this would be a whole lot easier if you'd just tell them about the Web."

"Act your birth order!"

'Life if so much simpler since we called Family Ref.'

'I used to think it was her red dress, but I've discovered I find your mother irritating in any color.'

'I try to run my family like a democracy, but what I really need is a line-item veto.'

"Oh, come on! I've told you, I'm not your 'imaginary friend.' I'm your father."

"Damn it, agree to whatever she demands. No matter what it takes, I want my mommy."

"Seventy-seven. How about yours."

'Grandparents! This time last year I wasn't good enough to marry your daughter, but now I've fathered the brightest child in the universe!'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.

"Mom, when do I get my own room?"