Pardon Traditions Gifts

Turkey pardoned by Trump still faces state charges.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"Ours is not a creative clan."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

'What clan do you belong to?'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"Have mercy on me, Mama. Have mercy on Mr. Pitiful."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Pearly King and Queen

"I love these old decorations!"

"The eggnog fountain is a bad idea."

Out of kilter.

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

'Here was proof that Lawrence was indeed an Englishman."

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

'You must be awfully secure in your masculinity.'

All-Candy Seder.

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

Christmas on Other Planets.

Folk Wedding

Baptism Then and Now

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."