Tradition Bender Gifts

"In this company, Simmons, we hold our hands steady in the middle and shake our bodies."

"He's a very alternative vicar - he's installed wind chimes.'

"There's no tree. Last year we just glued all the ornaments together!"

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

"Ours is not a creative clan."

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

Alternative fielding positions

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Our Founder picture of a caveman: 'We're a very, very old firm.'

"Great news, I've booked you two stag nights, a hen party and fourteen solemn thanksgiving services for members of the theatrical profession"

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

Folk Wedding

"It was her mothers"

'Hold it Billy - There are no praying mantises in school.'

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Memoirs: Fiction/Non Fiction.

"I warned you about putting funny stuff on the ball, Flanagan."

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

"Sorry, eighty is not the new sixty-five."

Fat Kid 28- Discovers his feminine side

'Oh yeah? Well, to hell with tradition. We're building a snow woman!'

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Shall I be mother?

Maypole

"What happened to the good old Jewish holidays when all we used to do was eat?"

Hanukkah tree