Style Bender Gifts

The Eclectic Chair

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"No luggage to check - I just have this carry on."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Thank god I bought my layers."

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

"If you could be any Bob Dylan you wanted to, which Bob Dylan would you be?"

"If I'd known we'd be this long wandering the wilderness I would never have worn these heels."

Too much togetherness can lead to unexpected problems.

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

'Hey! Hey! You need a trout stamp! Where's your trout stamp?!'

Life Store Guide: Make-up and jewellery

Alternative fielding positions

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'These fit just right. Do you have anything too tight?'

Pampered and poodled.

"If the economy's ground to a halt, we can help by carrying on shopping."

Mister Pretty Shoes

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

'They've certainly got designs on your purse!'

"Are you looking to accentuate or camouflage?"

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

'Sure I'm late. . . I not only have to get ready for school. . . now I have to get ready in case some idiot takes my picture for YouTube.'

Goldilocks and the seventeen black shoulder bags

"I don't like your application."

"Some fitting room. Nothing fits!"

"Do you do much walking?"

Changing Room Decisions

"Of course, lots of women are just going bare-headed."