Animal Pardoner Gifts

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'Tiddles has left everything to an old folks' home.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

The Cowboy Way; Doing the Right Thing

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'Well yes, we lost, but you asked me if I was a Legal Eagle, not if I was a good lawyer...'

"Last chance — where’s the wet food?"

"They think it's easy being the bleedin' bluebird of happiness!"

'I wanted to hear the pita pata of tiny feet so he bought me a hamster.'

Fido phones

'Oh, that is so simplistic. Why must you always see the world in black and white?'

'Now tell me Mrs. Swartsbunt, can you pick out the guy who slaughtered your husband?'

"That law against keeping chickens inside the city limits is so crazy."

"Oops! MY mistake, that was the yearly expense estimate, not the monthly estimate."

Carrot Throwing Act

"Who the hell keeps doing that?"

Hybrid Cat Breeds

Eve quickly learnt that you don't take your man with you when buying him clothes.

'Good old fashioned turkey shoot.'

Literate Dogs.

"I taught him to shake hands, and now he's running for congress!"

"Worms."

Lost CatCat Found.

"The circus was good but as 'Jo Jo, the dogged faced attorney', I'm making a killing."

"Duffer, Penny, Bailey & Coco. Attorneys at Gnaw."

Man to complaints clerk: 'My dog just died and I think my wife's cheating on me.'

'Just as a precautionary measure; is there any way you can get rid of that mask?'

William felt out of place in the dog obedience school.

Sorry to hear about your accident.

'Freshly ground pepper?'

'Greg, if your cell phone was set to vibrate, I think I've located it.'

Innocent Civilians

'My dog ate my opinion.'

'Say you're sorry and promise to give him a rossette.