Apology Gestures Gifts

'I see your missus has apologised!'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

Sorry

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

Hyacinths

"OK, what have you done?"

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Better get two dozen. She won't be able to hit you as hard with both arms full."

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

Greeting Cards

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

Very sorry

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

Feeling guilty? Florest

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'The Pope has decided to issue another apology for not issuing an apology.'

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.

"When I called you an idiot I meant it in the nicest possible way."

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'