Apology Gestures Gifts

'I see your missus has apologised!'

Priest's 'To do' list.

"I know I haven't been much of a master to you, but then again you haven't been much of a pet to me."

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Sorry

"Gee, I'm awfully sorry!"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

"Have I been good or have you been bad?"

Hyacinths

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

"OK, what have you done?"

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

"Better get two dozen. She won't be able to hit you as hard with both arms full."

"Sorry I'm late, I've brought cappuccinos for everyone."

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

Very sorry

'Yes, he plans to accept his party's nomination but first I have to accept his apology.'

Greeting Cards

"I'm sorry I called you boring."

"Your basic rule of thumb should be,the bigger the guilt, the longer the stem."

'Next time you apologize, try to do it with no strings attached. String can be very distracting.'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

'Let's pretend we're married so we can have a fight!'

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

Feeling guilty? Florest

'Would you believe, humble pie?'

'The Pope has decided to issue another apology for not issuing an apology.'

'I'm trying to make restitution for shredding the sofa.'

'If you're not sorry then I'm not sorry. . .but if you're sorry then I'm sorry.'

Laurel, hi. I brought you flowers. You did. How sweet. You never bring me flowers. Never. Not once. And chocolates. Shaped like tiny cell phones. What bad thing have you done? Spill it!

'Bob forgot your birthday. He went fishing instead. So he sent you this Excuse-O-Gram. In hopes he won't end up dead.'

I need a not to expensive gift that doesn't hurt when thrown to my head.