Parcel Perceiver T-Shirts

'Special Delivery!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

Same Day Delivery: "I wish!"

Captain Pointy No.21 - Hate mail

"By the time I've read all the nutrition and ingredients information I've lost my appetite!"

Caution Fragile

'Sure I can do same day service.'

U. S. POST OFFICE, ''Fragile'? Yeah, yeah, pal -- they're all fragile.'

'Fred, your super jumbo spool of fishing line just arrived.'

"That salesman was right. This company does ship orders fast!"

'Can you walk me through this 'snail mail' stuff?'

"Would you like to squiggle here something that no-one in a MILLION years would be able to read!"

'You want to insure it? --Just exactly what are you implying, buster?'

"What the...a swarm of Christmas air-mail parcels?! Pull her up, Larry! Pull her up!!"

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

"It seems like our drones are causing a fuss over New Jersey. Should we go back to using trucks for these Christmas deliveries?"

Another delivery by UPMS.

Delivered Pretty Much To Your Door!

A parcel of postmen

"Yes, I do all my shopping online. How did you know?"

This Side Up.

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

"I love online shopping. Every day is like Christmas!"

Peter Mandelson.

'I have no idea what it is, but 2357 customers bought this on Amazon.'

"Guess we don't need to write 'Sorry we missed you...' slips anymore."

"Listen mate - don't mess me about! Did you, or did you not, 10 years ago, adopt a mountain lion cub. . .??"

'That peak has such a look of defiance.'

"As a small business owner, she had developed a close relationship with UPS."

Agoraphobic's shrine

'An insured package? Certainly, sir -- just sign this waiver.'

Post Office (packages for delivery)

'I knew there was a catch. Only fifty calories per serving but one small box contains eight servings.'

Amazon Obstacle Course: Online Shopping Gamifies Your Building Entrance.

'With your regular carrier overdue you'll have to use me.'