Paranormal Enthusiasts Gifts

"Joe, is that you? Can you really hear me? What's the password for the email?"

"Oh, don't mind us. We boo everybody."

Summarizing the obvious: The gang, lost in Nowheresville, Utah, was saved by the spirit of Sadie Cohen, warning them how to get to safety. But how, and why? Stow it. Sadie and her spirit couldn't stand the idea of being without us. It would've left her with no one to despise. I feel so needed. My spirit is on lockdown!!!

Ok, you were right – Dogs can see ghosts.

"Congratulations! You unlocked the devil in your coffee. Microwave a seventh time and you'll meet L. Ron Hubbard."

If Ghosts Were Real

"A voice is telling me to move."

'The invisible man as a senior citizen.'

Out of body experience

'Ooh! Someone just walked over my grave.'

'The best thing about being a black cat is that you can scare superstitious people...'

I just knew this would be dull.

Doctor Spock.

"Is there anybody there..?" Knock once for 'yes' and twice for 'no'..."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Ghost School.

A spider is afraid of another spider's mask.

Chiller Theatre

Paranormal A-Z...

Dead Funny

New Road Signs to Watch For:

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

Astral Projection

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

A Club Sandwitch.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"It's not the paranormal activity that bothers me so much as the passive aggression."