Paranormal Detective Gifts

"I'm looking for a book on ESP..." "I know..."

Ghostly apparitions.

'Of course I'm paranoid and delusional, dummy! -- I was abducted by aliens, for crying out loud!'

'You are not haunted by the voices of the dead - You are tuned to four extra.'

'I suppose 'how did the mystery serial end? was better than no message at all.'

"Finally, I would just like to reassure the American public that ther is NO 'great U.F.O. cover-up...'."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

'... And this is my cellar.'

'Alone for the weekend at last!'

Out To Lurch

"Can't you do something more creative than messing around with cupboard doors?"

"To be honest, I don't believe in ghosts."

Paranormal A-Z...

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Ghost School.

'Your videotape's intriguing - But it still doesn't prove that they really exist.'

"If you wish to manifest here, you'll have to change. We don't allow anything past 1950."

"Would the widdle Venus fly trap like a fly? You'll have to beg for it."

Astral Projection

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

'We need you to settle a bet -- was 'Twilight Zone' a sitcom or a documentary?'

'So, what's for dinner ...a séance?'

Quantum Psychic

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"That dream catcher may be working a little too well."

Channelling on the Cheap

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'