Paranoid Fashionista Gifts

'Hazmat suits are the new normal.'

"I just hope the world doesn't end before people can see our outfits."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"Wow, you look sexy today."

Poisson d'Avril!

'It makes a cutting edge fashion statement, plus it has room for a gas mask and compact bio hazard suit.'

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

Salad Hat

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

Hoody Woodpecker.

Vestibular Nerve: What it takes for a Vestibular System to wear paisleys with with pin stripes.

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

'Dr. Nackschmerz has a very logical mind.' - 'Yes - in contrast to his body.'

"I don't want to look ridiculous at the clown convention!"

"...And never take candy from strangers -- They might be spies!"

Horse costume.

'Going as a high-thread-count ghost again this year.'

Coffee cup lids that don't fit properly and then dribble dwon the front of your best outfit just before the big meeting.

'Tah-DAH! -- Guess what I conquered!'

'I stay out of the sun and use a fan: That way, I don't need to roll in the mud to keep cool...'

'This is Hell, madam. Everything you try on will make your butt look big.'

'Burberry cushioning, very nice.'

Finally, a fanny-pack he could be proud of.

'Since issuing hospital gowns to them we've saved on air-conditioning.'

No, it can't be my size, it's comfortable.

Fears

"It doesn't mean anything. I just like how it looks."

The grim reaper tries on new clothes

Taste in High Life.

Stupid T-Shirt

'Grotesque!'

'Earl, your son has fallen in with the right crowd!'

Shop assistant looking at woman wearing a hideous outfit while her shadow is sick in a bucket.

Men wearing loud shirts are the first loaded onto airplane.

'Anything to take those shoes off.'