Fashionista Of The Absurd Gifts

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"Too 'Book of Genesis'?"

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"Now that's a great number if you want to be protected from the entire environment."

'The Prom Dress: One Week Later'

"I don't think anyone will notice your ninty seven pound lime green lycra swimming trunks Terry."

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

'I'm just curious, which one of you was dropped off by their boyfriend on a really fast motorcycle?'

Bernice Mountain Dog

Falloon's Menswear. Where it's always brown trouser time.

"Wow, you look sexy today."

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"Marie Antoinette? This is she."

Naked Furniture

"Remember, you're selling home appliances, so look more ... dishwashery."

Crocodile Shoes

"I thought I put on my 'big boy' pants this morning but apparently they were my 'fire me' pants."

"I don’t know, honey – sort of makes you look like a blockhead."

'You should never wear a green parrot with a blue suit.'

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

"Look what I found, this beautiful Christmas poncho. Isn't it festive?!"

Salad Hat

"I'm looking for a tie that retracts a statement."

A sign outside the "Museum of Modern Gift Items" reads "T-shirts of the Masters Sale".

Bertie Wooster type teaching a parrot to talk

Joe's Tuxedos

Emma's Bridal Wear: Gowns Veils Trains

Visual Gag Hosiery Hosiery for Hoses of all types

"Now these prescription glasses are popular with our clients who like to be stylish yet lay low."

Work clothes.

"Here are our latest frames, designed to make you look with-it, even though your past-it."