Paranoia Buff T-Shirts

'Where do you keep the books on paranoia?', 'Who wants to know?'

"Before I accept you as my coach, I just need to check you're not wearing a wire-tap."

The Anti-Agent

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

CSI: Mother Goose Unit...'Hmmm...I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps mister Dumpty's demise wasn't simply a tragic accident.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

Edgar Allen Poe

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"The Hound of the Baskervilles, Watson--I took him walkies!"

"It turns out crows find a bunch of dead crows more frightening than a man made out of hay."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

'Listen up, Baskerville! This is MacDonald! Those hounds of yours are scaring the E-I-E-I-O out of my animals!'

"Werewolves of London..."

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"Had more ghost-hunters 'round my place last night....scared the daylights outta me!"

The Da Vinci Cod

The Philip Marlow family

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"I started my career as an industrial spy-here."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

Movie Monster Exhibit: Unavailable due to much needed repair work.

"Oh look Pharaoh a miniature replica of your final resting place."

"Sorry, I meant to say "good luck", not "break a leg"..."

Milkin' Impossible

Was the Illuminati - now the Illuminasty

'Is that a suspicious package in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?'

'Es-yay. E's-hay ere-hay ight-ray ow-nay and-ay e-hay oesn't-day uspect-say a ing-thay!'

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'I just have an eerie feeling about this cave.'

Mystery Writing 101 - Mailbox: The butler did it, the gardener, the chauffeur.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

BIC TAYLOR MAKES A HORRIFIC DISCOVERY IN THE CHILLING CLIMAX TO 'PLANET OF THE PENCILS.'

'I really got to stop watching paranormal movies before bed!'