Paradise Gifts

"In heaven we're all Border Collies."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"Guess what? I'm taking an eternity leave."

Cat Heaven

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

'Well, Mr. Hefner. Here we are. Hope you're not disappointed.'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

"Which way to Hog Heaven?"

"There's always one!"

Golfing Bishop.

"The bagels are better in New York."

There is no hurricane season in Aruba...

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'The water hazard holds little fear for Jesus.'

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Would it still be considered a weekend getaway if we never go back?"

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Arabian island

Doggie Heaven

"It's a land flowing with milk and honey, with a small but lively arts district."

Self Service Island

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

'It's nice to see that some marriages really are made in heaven.'

'Missin' rib, snake, guilt, eviction. . . and not a Stress Counsellor in sight!'

Not so heavenly

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."