Paradise Humor Gifts

"Geez, those guys on Cloud 9 got slot machines!"

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

'We would like an unspoiled paradise, but with lots of shops.'

Local News in Heaven

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

"As we're here for eternity, I expected at least a television."

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

CartoonStock Upload

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

Shoe repair

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

"Horace, what are we doing on the same cloud? Our vows said 'till death do us part.'"

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"Is it just me, or is it humid up here?"

'An they have the nerve to call this heaven!'

'I've been to seventh heaven many times, but this is my first experience with the real thing.'

Self Service Island

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

"The last thing I remember is hearing the doctor say oops!"

'Well, I don't know anything about 'identity theft'. All I can tell you, is that according to these records you're already here.'

'You'll have to wait a couple of minutes... we're still downloading information from your soul's black box recorder.'

Keyboard in Heaven

The summer the people depart, and life on Monster Island resumes its leisurely pace.

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

"No, your body is actually alive and well back on earth - your mind has just arrived at the gates of blissful dementia."

Not so heavenly

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

"It's how I get someone's attention."