Papyrus Enthusiast Gifts

'Unfortunately, your resume isn't worth the papyrus it's written on.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Look, I never said salvation would be PRETTY!'

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

'Thank god for the spellchecker!'

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

"Writer's block?"

'OK, who moved the photocopier?'

"This is amazing! Roughly translated, it says 'King Tut was here o.k.'"

'This stuff is a snap for me. I used to be a pharmacist.'

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

95 Theses That Will Blow Your Mind!

Jesus wept

"I can write, but I can't draw."

"Nice job, but there in the middle, I think you spelled Akhenaten wrong."

"Here is the one pager we all agreed on..."

Egyptians discussing hieroglyphic spelling.

Hieroglyphic disco dancer

"Da, I know what opprobrium means."/ "That's great, son. Do you know anyone else who does?"

Lost to antiquity.

"For goodness sake brother. Haven't you finished that note to the milkman yet?"

'We've uncovered your birth certificate,'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

The Nosy Cleaner

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"I can't take another memoir."

"Harrison, you fail to comprehend the meaning of cursive writing."

24 Words for Melting Snow

'Am I the only one who still enjoys the glide of a perfectly sharpened #2 on a fresh yellow legal pad?'

Monks form copier service.

Singulars: spaghetto, broccolo, jacuzzo.

"The Bible does not say that!... And if it does, it's taken out of context!... And if it isn't, it's just a metaphor!... And if it's not, it's not a big deal!... And if it is, then that's just how things were done back then!... And if... er... shut up

"You don't look a day over 3030."

'Remember my son, it's not who you are, but who I was that matters.'