Paper Prophet Gifts

"These printers can be pretty self-righteous when they present their bills."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Moses on the web

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Pie Filling Reader

Smiling businessman with rising profits

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Oh, I can't complain"

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"Love your feng shui!"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

The Speculators

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

"Our accountancy firm says that there are a number of ways to interpret the figures... which one do you prefer?"

"The short term solution is money and the long term solution more money."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Vikings to the Super bowl.

'Of course, for me, Christmas has a deeply felt religious significance! The stock exchange is my church...!

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"I can't decide which I'd rather do- make a twenty-billion-dollar bid of turn down a twenty-billion-dollar bid."

A self-filling prophecy.

Humble beginnings of the International House of Pancakes

Protesting man's sign reveals that his credit has run out.

"To give him credit...normally I think these staff 'consultations' are a complete waste of time...but he's been in his office all morning working on our ideas."

"That's our projected sales."

You ever wonder what would've happened if Nintendo had never existed? There'd have been no Mario Bros., and since Sega created Sonic to compete, there'd be no Sonic. And without those, the market wouldn't have been big enough to interest Sony. So … no Playstation. And no Playstation, no Xbox. Several generations of awkward teens would've had to come up with other excuses not to go outside. Sometimes I wonder if it rained where I grew up.