Digital Prophet Gifts

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Moses on the web

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'We've re-branded.'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

God's Phone

"Oh, I can't complain"

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"I have an app for that."

"If we could all turn to page 387, turn off your iPods and repeat after me?"

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

'I call it 'Myspace'''

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

"So how much money do you make?"

Great Business Ideas - Musk Twitter X

"Love your feng shui!"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

'Does a blog count as being published.'

Follow God On Twitter

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

The Speculators