Digital Prophet Gifts

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Moses on the web

'We manufacture micro computing circuits. We're looking to hire someone who can anticipate the next small thing.'

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

'We've re-branded.'

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

"The new revenue stream is finally kicking in."

Smiling businessman with rising profits

"Mommy, watch, I'm living authentically!"

"Ya, right. Who needs a web presence. I'll just compete in the global economy from here."

God's Phone

"Oh, I can't complain"

'This is why we can't have nice things... '

"I have an app for that."

"Only three hundred and sixty-seven followers? Maria's not an asset to the abbey."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

"Before we made the leap to cyberspace, our stockholders made us promise we'd maintain a traditional street presence, too!"

'I call it 'Myspace'''

"He certainly takes after his Dad."

Great Business Ideas - Musk Twitter X

Perhaps we could get the Saatchis to pain a pretty picture.

"Love your feng shui!"

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'Here's the improved margins you said you wanted to see this year, Tom.'

'Does a blog count as being published.'

Follow God On Twitter

"Graphs are like EKGs, they show the health of a company."

The Speculators

'It's Sundays like this that I regret our church website is so popular.'

'For your penance, download five 'Hail marys' and ten 'Our fathers'.'

"...and right here in Q2 is where the 'you know what' hit the fan. . ."

'First, I'd like to welcome the presidents of the two internet networking companies that just merged with us.'