Paparazzi Ponderer Gifts

'Darling! It's rude to point...' (child pointing long lens camera)

"Ok, now, let's get one of you demanding your privacy."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Why bother?"

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Ghost puddle

"You dropped yer wallet."

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

Desert island dweller sinks in sand.

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

Prepper Dog

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.