Paparazzi Ponderer T-Shirts

'Darling! It's rude to point...' (child pointing long lens camera)

"Ok, now, let's get one of you demanding your privacy."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"Why bother?"

"Sometimes Peter I wish it would just stay as water."

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

Optimist

"This may surprise some of your viewers, but I didn't actually want to go into the box."

"Ok... for today I want a 500-word essay on what you know about nothing."

'The organizational structure is pretty simple: We do the work; they take the credit.'

WANTED Dead or Alive - Schrodinger's Cat.

"I have good news and bad news about your cat, Dr Schrodinger..."

"You dropped yer wallet."

'It's a program on paranoia. Every time I leave the room, they stop and wait for me to come back.'

Schrödinger and his cat

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

'At least I don't have his life.'

Another Time Travel Pair o' Ducks.

"Pregnant!... How did that happen? We took precautions, like not having sex!"

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

"Most people forget they've had amnesia."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"Events seem to be headed in the right direction. Unfortunately, it's not taking me with it."

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

Prepper Dog

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

"Is this as good a bad time as any other bad time you've experienced?"

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

Two guns are pointing at each other in a peace sign.