Pantomime Whisperer Gifts

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

"Extreme miming"

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

Dog Dreams

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"That is an outrageous slur."

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'