Pantomime Whisperer Pillows

Wife to husband dressed as pantomime cow: 'I know you're exhausted, love, but at least the panto season is now ... BEHIND YOU!!'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Dog Dreams

"Extreme miming"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

'You know too much!'

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

"That is an outrageous slur."

'The forest is so dark and gloomy: It's nice to reach the emergence and get a bit of sunshine...'

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"...and that growl has turned many a hunter into vegetarians!"

"That's it, Tom. Here they come. Just keep playing 'Freebird.'"

"Do you like it better when I go to the F or the Dm?"

'Humans are so considerate: They put perches like these for us on every one of their houses...'

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

'Here's something that should suit your wooden acting style. How do you fancy playing the lead in Pinocchio?'

'Can you play something the dog doesn't know?'

Sign in Lion Enclosure: 'Please Don't Eat the People.'

"Look. They say sit, you sit. They say roll over, you roll over. Where's the prob?"

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Hm, still sky high. Let's try the other arm."