Ant Whisperer Gifts

"Instead of poison, I introduce liberal, intellectual ants into the population, eroding the ants' patriotism and causing them to question the authoritarian rule of the queen. Slowly, over generations, it weakens the ants' genetic resolve to the point where they stay in the nest at all times, watching television and writing letters to the editor."

'Let's be honest, he was always getting under someone's feet.'

Ant Farm in foreclosure

'Yes is this the exterminators? I think I have an ant problem. They've invaded my house.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Police Feline Unit

Children's Parties

'Well, it's your fault for wearing my slippers.'

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Quick, start the car!"

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"It get it – you're hungry."

Biofelineism

Dog Dreams

Thanks to her cat-cam, Cheryl was able to keep her furniture from being shredded while she was at work.

If a bunch of crazy red headed clowns come out that door...Run like you've never ran before!

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"This prognosis is positive, you've got a cold nose."

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Children's Feast.

'I don't care if it's hot, I won't go in the water!'

"Hon, come quick! Mr. Puff has lowered his impenetrable wall of feline indifference, and it probably won't last long!"

'You know too much!'

"I forsee you will have a better chance of winning the lottery than growing your testicles back."

Cat Towels

'Boy, watch out for that pursestring suture!'

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

The Worm Charmer

'Don't bite it.I have to check Daddy next.'