Pandemic Furlough Gifts

"It's alright honey. Daddy's fine. He's just...practicing."

Very Difficult Conversations

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

Working from home

"Jeez, these things are hot."

"He used to be a senior fact checker at Meta — now he's just a pedant."

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

'I'm afraid we have to let you go. As you know, you're entitled to a 'Golden Handshake'...

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

"This is the best news."

What Bob thought outside the box.

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

'OK everyone get out... we're downsizing!'

Chillaxing!

"They told me my parachute would be golden. Turns out it's pyrite."

"Maybe we should've done layoffs after the holiday party."

'Relax, I'm not here for you. Just for your job.'

"But I was told this was included in my severance package."

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

"Pick two! Staying abreast of the rapidly evolving global pandemic and what it means for your middle-class suburban life. Creating holiday memories that your kids will treasure throughout their lifetimes. Remembering to eat a vegetable."

"I'm not good at confrontation, so unscramble this phrase in your head for a surprise message."

'Sorry, Tantor -- we're downsizing.'

"It comes with great sadness, that one of you will be placed on furlough, for a minimum of three weeks."

Stay Home And Feed Me!!!

"That's life in the corporate world. Yesterday I was the company's 'go-to' guy, and today, I'm the 'you go too,' guy!"

Boss leads employee away to fire him.

Won't Work For Food

Freedom, Liberty and 5:01 on a Friday.

'You know, Mertins, when you take a vacation day, you can actually stay at home.'

"It was the only apron I could find."

'Not more paperwork Sarge?'