Furlough Day Survivor Gifts

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Another day at work would be one too many...

"We offer a generous flex time policy - you can work your 90 hours per week any way you'd like."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

"I think that might have been one deadline too many for Tim!"

"Hey, Dunleavy! I hear the boss is clearing out more dead wood today! Maybe you should've just stayed home and called in stick! Get it? Called in stick?"

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

'The trouble with success is that the formula is the same for a nervous breakdown.'

"I don't think we can put off dealing with 'presenteeism' any longer."

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

Pre-vacation-burn-out radiology reports.

Doctor sleeps in a patients bed.

"Well, that's just great! I guess pigs don't fly after all!"

'What's the diagnosis?' - '*Cough*' - 'It's not good, I'm afraid.' - 'Tell me. I have to know.' - 'You have man flu, Peel.' - 'Why, God? Why?!!' - 'I'm so sorry.' -

"I'm burned out on fetching. I'm thinking of changing careers."

'No, Stanworth, feeling sick of your job does not qualify you for sick leave.'

"Sorry I'm late again, boss. I got held up in self-doubt and regrets."

"It's the worst part of working here...spending so much time with people at the end of their tether, ill, stressed, desperate for help..."

"Actually, this time we're not being asked to do more with less. Instead, we're being asked to do whatever we want, somewhere else, effective immediately."

When you are most likely to be stabbed in the back

'Did you finish the business plan and out look for the next five years?'

"This is the best news."

'That's great, Bob, but I was just going to ask if you wanted anything from the deli next door.'

"Just when did you leave your last job?"

"I've lost my voice. Is it contagious?"

"I think you misunderstood our new work from home policy-- you work eight hours here at the office, then you get to take your work home with you."

Bob gets his walking papers.

'You're vaarking too aard,'

"His productivity apps pushed him to an early grave."