Furloughed Worker Gifts

"I don't like it either, but at least we're getting paid again."

"It used to Casual Friday. Now it's Furlough Friday."

Very Difficult Conversations

"You're a great team player - so we're trading you."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'It's my own fault. I never upgraded my skills. I was replaced by a man half my age with a more advanced smartphone and hundreds of productive apps.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

The breakup

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

'The attack will have to wait until tomorrow Congressman. Today is furlough day. . .'

"You don't get a lot of work done, Jenkins, but I admire how thoroughly unstressed you are."

America's Biggest Export...

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

Stop staring at that screen saver!

You're Employment has been terminated -Smiley face lol

'I'm afraid we have to let you go. As you know, you're entitled to a 'Golden Handshake'...

'There's new evidence that my departure from my previous employer merely coincided with their brain drain.'

"Here's one I wrote myself. It's called 'Blues for the Guy I'm Laying Off.'"

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"This is the best news."

'And if you become homeless due to this layoff, you can pitch a tent on my estate...'

"They told me my parachute would be golden. Turns out it's pyrite."

'Our employees agreed to be frozen until there's an economic upturn.'

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

'OK everyone get out... we're downsizing!'

'Relax, I'm not here for you. Just for your job.'

"But I was told this was included in my severance package."

"Don't forget to torch the place when you leave."

'You do outstanding work, Nelson, but I'm afraid Higby makes me look better.'