Pamphlet Ponderer Gifts

'These pamphlets will explain the procedure and these leaflets will explain the pamphlets.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Next Time-Portal 5 Miles...

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

"Today we'll examine that age old question of robot accomplishment: programming or processor?"

Three work boxes: 'IN...LIMBO...OUT': 'I think I've found your bottleneck.'

'Marry me, and make me the happiest man in the world.' 'You want BOTH?!'

Boxes marked 'In', 'Out' and 'How did this end up on my desk?'

"It makes me happy that you took time to read the newspaper today."

'In other words, statistics prove that statisticians aren't always right.'

A sardine can combined with a cornucopia.

'Dang it, nothing but junk mail'

Desk bins: Pretend it's not here, Hope it goes away, Delegate it.

"I like office work, it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours!"

Doo inc..can and no can.

"It looks as if Bodecker's project has gotten completely out of hand."

Document Filing in the Post-Literate Era.

"Crap in" and "crap out"

'Does he mean before or after the needs survey?'

Ode to Nature.

'Do you ever wonder about this whole 'money' thing?'

'I proved that when you start to count your blessings, you find that they're infinite.'

'It's an EIEIO!'

'The mind-body problem is best expressed in the formulation...OOf!'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

A cool proposal

'Nuff said.

In, out, and back in again trays

'Miss Fogarty, I'm not having any fun.'

Nuclear Power Plant. Everywhere around here there's matter turning into energy, except where you're sitting.

"Well, you've fianlly done it! No more rainforest left!"

"Actually we were hoping for something a little more sensible..."