Pampering Day Gifts

Woman pouring perfume into her bath.

Loofah Lady

Spa

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

Leave your troubles in the bubbles

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

Pampered and poodled.

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Woman at spa having bath in a Martini cocktail glass.

'Tell me this - did you have this condition before you sat in the jacuzzi for 100 million years?'

'Nobody minds if I take the ocean view suite with complimentary champagne and Sven, the in-room Swedish masseur, do they?'

The Cat Spa

"If she's a write off can you let me know the scrap value?"

It was time for a little bit of lady admin

Do you think room service could bring me an ice lolly?

Take a break, Archimedes. A nice soak in the bath will work wonders.

'I have to admit I was skeptical at first, but their hooves are magical, Magical, I say!'

"Hey - I'd write a book, too, if I could find the time."

"I see you shaved your legs...for your boyfriend?"

Happy National No Housework Day

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"I still say you're spoiling that dog!"

"I just finished a 10-day cleanse. Now it's time to retox."

The Manicure.

Massage parlour offering therapeutic, Swedish, and ego massages.

The Garra Rufa's idea of a Grand Day Out.

"Looks like Mom is practicing getting her mask ready for Halloween tomorrow."

"She massages egos."

'We can remove the hair from your back. Yes, your husband's back, too!'

"I hope he doesn't hear me sizzling."

'My best client? You must be kidding. When she comes I work like for four people but I only receive one person's tips.'

"Call me sentimental, but if I had to live my life all over again, I wouldn't change a thing."

Chill Out ZoneShell Out Zone.

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"