Palm Tree Ponderers Gifts

"Are you talking to me?"

A desert island with a knotted palm tree

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

"It's a beautiful world out there, just waiting to be discovered. Well, discovered by one of you, the rest will almost certainly die."

'See you in two weeks!'

Vista Acres - A tanned community.

The Desert Island Package

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

'You've got dry scalp.'

"Is it just me, right, is it just me ...?"

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

'I can't shake off this feeling we're being watched.'

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'Do you ever worry about our global footprint?'

"I spy something blue."

Guy on island sees giant ship in bottle.

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

"At least my putting has improved."

Yes Man Is An Island: "Yes! Okay! Yea! No Problem! Absolutely!"

'According to your love line, I should be calling a cop right now!'

'What luck!'

"Fiji wants to protect democracy by not holding elections..."

'Another one. Do you realize that will make the third time this month we've held a fire drill?'

"You have a long life line... and where DO you get your nails done?"

Danger Coconuts

"Boxing day is so boring."

Spring ballpark errors.

'I thought I heard a horn.'

Man hangs Christmas stocking on tree.