Palliative Care Practitioner Gifts

Everyday Hospice

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

'He's been hiding out here for 20 years. Apparently, his buddies forgot to tell him the paintball tournament was over.'

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

"Try letting the ball come to you."

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'I suppose the word 'patient' is used because that's what you have to be!'

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

Investments: Remember, Time Heals All Stocks.

Portfolio, 2014 - For a richer enjoyment, allow to age.

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'Your novel has an up-to-the-moment breaking news quality. We intend to publish it in 2012.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

Some people have their own methods of dealing with a shortage of nurses

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

"We already changed our phone service to something or other last week, so we don't need whatever it is you have."

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'I'll let my colleague explain.'

"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."

Seven males, ranging in age from a baby to an old man, wait in a line monitored by a uniformed guard.

'If you were in a hurry, sir, you shoudn't have ordered the overnight marinade.'

'I tend to bury stuff.'

'Honey, don't wait with the supper. I'm in a traffic jam and I fear this will take a very, very long time...'

'Well I'm blowed if I know what any of this means!'

'You'd look good in that.'

"Be patient with Ed. You can skip his political harangue in 15 seconds and move right onto sports."

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"