Palliative Care Specialist Gifts

'He's our new Pallitative Specialist!'

"If it's any consolation, toward the end he was high as a kite."

"A bit nervous.. It is your first euthanasia I presume."

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'I'll let my colleague explain.'

'He's our new Pallitative Specialist!'

Stairlift around cliff face.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'You're going to need a hip-hoperation.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"He's a whiz kid."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

Man sees sign at institution: 'Home for the Disgusted'

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

'I need a vacation, Ms. Sims. I'm tired of the same old things day after day.'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

Listen, you're fine. Lots of people your age start fuhgeddabouding things.

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

'You'd look good in that.'

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

'I tend to bury stuff.'

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"