Palliative Care Specialist Gifts

'He's our new Pallitative Specialist!'

"If it's any consolation, toward the end he was high as a kite."

"A bit nervous.. It is your first euthanasia I presume."

'You wanted a second opinion?'

'I'll let my colleague explain.'

'He's our new Pallitative Specialist!'

Stairlift around cliff face.

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"I have special needs-- good food, warm bed, fresh water, and plenty of room to pop wheelies!"

"Promise me that if I die first you won't eat me."

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'I have the feeling my expiration date is nearly up.'

"The nurse thinks she's sneaky, but I know my meds are in the peanut butter."

'You're going to need a hip-hoperation.'

'Oh no! I forgot to change his ring tone to the funeral march!'

"He's a whiz kid."

"He tried living in the fast lane, but he didn't like it, so now he just sleeps all day."

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

'He won't start up on cold mornings.'

'First the good news - we've all got to go sometime...'

Bed Sores and Breakfast - Palliative care.

"I assure you I do appreciate what you're feeling."

Man sees sign at institution: 'Home for the Disgusted'

"I know I agreed to hold a funeral for Wendy's goldfish...but did she have to ask Reverend Clark to officiate?"

'I need a vacation, Ms. Sims. I'm tired of the same old things day after day.'

"It's male pattern osteoporosis."

I'm not sure when I can help you. It's not easy getting parts for you anymore

"I'm afraid he's got Jungsheimer's!"

'I tend to bury stuff.'

'Yes, we can easily place a gallon of Rocky Road in with your husband.'

"Thanks for reminding me, doc! I just forgot that I've got Alzheimer's!"

Morty likes a holistic approach... sex, cigarettes, pillow talk and then death.

'You'd look good in that.'

"I just wish I hadn't spent most of my life reading the comments below online news articles"