Palette Pleaser T-Shirts

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

The Art Student.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Vincent Van Goat.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

I'm color blind, please help.

''Midnight in Paris' didn't work in the conference room. Let's try something more vibrant like 'Sunrise Over Wall Street.''

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

Crayo-Blah

Henri Matisse

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

Divine Intervention

Artists supplies: Fire Sale - Oil paints, burnt umber, burnt orange, fire red, hot pink.

Artist painting a picture of a pavement, "Y'know, being a pavement artist isn't all it is made out to be."

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

"It's always Roy G. Biv this, Roy G. Biv that. Never Burnt Sienna!"

Shadow Artist

'It's another canvasser dear'

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

'Did you know that your lips move when you paint?'

'I didn't get a grant.'

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'Sorry, Steve, but we're trading you to France for two impressionists and a dadaist to be named later.'

"Van Gogh has always been associated with the colour yellow. In your case I think the colour is mediochre!"

'Gee, doc, I never thought creative therapy would be like this.'

'See you tomorrow!' says artist to the fruit that has been posing for him.

"Oh, I can paint alright, but only miniatures..."