Palette Pleaser Gifts

"Can we be seated under a vegan painting?"

The Art Student.

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

A sign that reads "ART...and plenty of it!" hangs above the entrance to a museum.

'You called me out of the blue... Cobalt, ultramarine, prussian, cerulean or phthalocyanine?'

'I WANTED to paint the room a shade of green, but gave up somewhere between chartreuse and citrine.'

Vincent Van Goat.

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'Don't know much about art but I know what I like.'

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Unknown moments in art history. Manet? This is Monet --- I got some of your mail again.

I'm color blind, please help.

Henri Matisse

''Midnight in Paris' didn't work in the conference room. Let's try something more vibrant like 'Sunrise Over Wall Street.''

"Painted like this, finding furniture to match at least one colour should be simple!"

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

David Hockney

Crayo-Blah

Artists supplies: Fire Sale - Oil paints, burnt umber, burnt orange, fire red, hot pink.

Divine Intervention

Negotiations over the new colour scheme had reached stalemate.

'Maybe if you cut off an ear it would look better.'

Artist painting a picture of a pavement, "Y'know, being a pavement artist isn't all it is made out to be."

"It's always Roy G. Biv this, Roy G. Biv that. Never Burnt Sienna!"

Shadow Artist

'I didn't get a grant.'

'Did you know that your lips move when you paint?'

'I love an empty canvas...especially yours...'

'It's another canvasser dear'

'Gee, doc, I never thought creative therapy would be like this.'

"Oh, I can paint alright, but only miniatures..."

Pantomimes Are Lousy Painters. . .

'See you tomorrow!' says artist to the fruit that has been posing for him.

If you keep sitting on your paintings, you're going to become an impressionist!

Artist painting his own paints instead of the view.