Paleo Dieting Gifts

I asked a lady if she wanted to grab a kale smoothie with me. She totally ignored me. Of course she did. Very few ladies are interested in a guy who latches on to the latest fads. It suggests you've got a roving eye, and you'll leave her for someone new later on. Most women like a man who's "classic." Solid. Reliable. Unmoved by the ever-changing winds. That's why I eat nothing but nuts, berries and hippos. If it was good enough for the cavemen, it's good enough for me. I thought cavemen ate bro

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"At first glance this diet might seem boring but then you realize there are actually seven varieties of kale!"

The discovery of asparagus.

"Don't bother gathering carbs for me, I'm on the Paleo diet."

'This is gluten free, isn't it?'

"Frankly, dear, I think you've been on this paleo diet much too long!"

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

Evolution disruptor: The selfie stick. The reason why T-Rex's arms never evolved.

"Late Jurassic is so Retro..."

Unlike modern day hipsters, pre-historic hipsters didn't need to rely on yoga, hiking or even rock climbing to stay fit...

'I'm on a diet -- I just eat the brains.'

'Try slicing the bread, Brian!'

'Dinosaurs might have survived if they'd gone to health clubs.'

"I'm following the paleo diet. Not that there's much choice, of course."

'Don't look now, but here comes some natural selection.'

Dinosaurs of the Palindromic Era.

'Now you tell me you've gone vegan?'

"Listen Matt, me and the boys think you might be overdoing this Paleo diet thing!"

"This is going to ruin my ratio of protein to vegetables."

"I'm trying to stick to a Paleo diet. Do you think cavemen had wasabi sauce on their sushi?"

Paleo Camp

'The stems are better for you.'

'Gronk head broke, and Oog have CLUB!'

Historians think that dogs first became domesticated in the Stone Age.

'Eat my vegetables? - I thought we were supposed to be predators!'

'Pterodatyl? Everything tastes like Pterodatyl to you!'

"I think it's time we define the practical limits of your Paleo diet."

"Wait! Is it gluten-free?"

'Are you SURE they're a good source of potassium?'

'We had that last night.'

"We ought to give this diet a name."

"He's on the paleo diet."

"Ever wonder if these are loaded with antioxidants?"

'I'm not 'out of shape' — I'm evolved!'