Pairing Perfectionist Gifts

Pick me! 2002 was a very good year! No! Me! I'm excellent with beef and fish. Desperate House Wines.

'Which wine should I serve with tofu meat loaf and seaweed salad?'

Recreational and Medicinal Wines

'The meaning of communinication is the response we get'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'There! See that? Brad just happens to morph into some kind of hideous amphibian just as he's about to putt? Now tell me she's not cheating!'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Aren't you glad we brought our putters, too?'

Golf lessons

"Excuse me, but could you ask the chef to make this a little more photogenic?"

'Not that slowly back...'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"I've heard of being organized, but isn't this a little obsessive compulsive?"

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

For sale - Used only Once.

Is it a book? A film? A TV show? How do you mime a podcast?

Perfection

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Don't ask me, I've never got one in a hole either.'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Do I take it that you will not be requiring my services on the back nine?'

Christmas Present Wrapping Service.

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

"You're welcome."

Santa's Out Tray.

"Being happy with one's work is the kiss of death."

'Excellent. But try it again and this time start your sway at the beginning of the fourth bar, O.K.?'

'I don't want to be a shepherd. I want to be the policeman who interrupts the play to tell all the mummys and daddys who have parked irresponsibly and dangerously outside to move their cars...'

'On to the office again?' - 'No, my pro.'

"Larry made that chair from a pile of sticks."