Painting A New Room Pillows

"Would that be 'white white' or a 'grey white' or 'white with a touch of lemon white'?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

'Maybe we should have gone for a pommel horse.'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'I couldn't stand the heat, so I got out of the kitchen.'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

It's a male thing - I saw a toaster with power assist, and I bought it.

Painting the Ceiling

"I'm thinking of turning this home office into a man-cubicle."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"Man's best friends."

'Esther, is it possible, just possible mind you, that your green thumb has gone berserk?'

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'Homepage Sweet Homepage'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

'They make remarkably clean pets.'

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'Come on, you can help me to choose some lovely wallpaper.'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

"We're looking for something for our panic room."

"I believe I have just reached a whole new level of cozy."

Directions: Call a smart friend.